7/17/08

I really hate putting on makeup. I went five years with out accentuating my cheek bones, or bringing out my eye color, i didn't miss it, and i didn't feel less beautiful. it didn't matter, it wasn't part of my daily existence. True, i was in the middle of no where, and i wasn't really all that worried about weather or not the squirrels or visiting bears thought that me attractive. I've always been one of those people who truly holds that beauty comes from with in. I know this is probably one of the biggest clichés that ever existed, but its true. Any beauty that we may physically possess is only the intangible beauty with in us, shining through, kind of like the light and heat from a flame radiate through a glass holder.

functioning under this understanding, for five years, i didn't use make up. However, for some reason, that i don't really understand when i came back to society i began to feel like i need to wear makeup again. At first it was sort of fun, like when i was a young girl playing with make up for the first time, but soon enough it became more of a chore than a pleasure. When it was time for me to get ready for work i dreaded putting on make up, i just wanted to get it over with. Despite the fact that i loathed the task of making myself up, i continued to do so, day in and day out . . . as if i had to. It's ridiculous really, I've become a slave to vanity.

What's worse is i've become a slave to vanity because i was worried about how society would view me, i felt a need to fit in to something that i KNOW i don't really fit in. I don't even really like society or any thing that its made up of, so why would i compromise and try to conform myself to its rules and regulations.

well no wonder i've been cranky lately. Thats it, make up you're done for! I'm sure i can find much more enjoyable ways of using the extra time that i have just added to my day!